Post by BassCat19 on Jul 21, 2005 16:45:19 GMT -6
DEAD BMW
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic
it
died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She
says,
"What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
She
asks,
"How often do I have to do that?"
>>> > >
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely
if
he
could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys
would
get
your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and
then
today
you expect me to show it to you!"
>>> > > EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her
right
breast hanging out. A policeman approach es her and says,
"Ma'am,
are
you
aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says,
"Why
officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out," he says. She looks down
and
says,
"OH
MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
>>> > >
>>> > > RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
sees
another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I
get
to
the
other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river
and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
>>> > >
>>> > > KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway.
Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel
was
knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights
and
siren,
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and
yelled,
"PULLOVER!" "NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>>> > >
>>> > > BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
Russian
said,
"We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the
first
on
the
moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on
the
sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
their
heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To
which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going
at
night!"
>>> > > IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She
rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
"If
you
are
in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She
thought
for
a
time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>>> > >
>>> > > FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDEJOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
dogs,
and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying
that
one
was
named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever
heard
of
someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the
blonde.
"They're
watch dogs!"