Post by Joel Babin on Jul 28, 2005 11:14:24 GMT -6
How to Shower Like a Woman
*Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
*Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
*If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
*Get in the shower.
*Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
*Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
*Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
*Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
*Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
*Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
*Rinse conditioner off hair.
*Shave armpits and legs.
*Turn off shower.
*Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
*Spray mold spots with Tilex.
*Get out of shower.
*Dry with towel the size of a small country.
*Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
*Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
*If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower Like a Man
*Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
*Walk naked to the bathroom.
*If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
*Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
*Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
*Get in the shower.
*Wash your face.
*Wash your armpits.
*Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
*Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
*Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
*Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
*Wash your hair.
*Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
*Pee.
*Rinse off and get out of shower.
*Partially dry off.
*Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
*Admire wiener size in mirror again.
*Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
*Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
*If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
*Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong
*Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
*Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
*If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
*Get in the shower.
*Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
*Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
*Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
*Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
*Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
*Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
*Rinse conditioner off hair.
*Shave armpits and legs.
*Turn off shower.
*Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
*Spray mold spots with Tilex.
*Get out of shower.
*Dry with towel the size of a small country.
*Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
*Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
*If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower Like a Man
*Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
*Walk naked to the bathroom.
*If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
*Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
*Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
*Get in the shower.
*Wash your face.
*Wash your armpits.
*Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
*Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
*Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
*Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
*Wash your hair.
*Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
*Pee.
*Rinse off and get out of shower.
*Partially dry off.
*Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
*Admire wiener size in mirror again.
*Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
*Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
*If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
*Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong