Post by BassCat19 on Aug 1, 2005 16:44:08 GMT -6
Are you sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South?
Challenge any of your so-called smart Yankees to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in
your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle,
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons
of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense
the product?
4. A (important note - A means 1 man) woodcutter has a chainsaw which
operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be
harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree
diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be consumed before the
trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented its charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field
rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The
porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many
hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope
on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic
conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that the truck will
strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The
mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning
of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked
during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
Challenge any of your so-called smart Yankees to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in
your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle,
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons
of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense
the product?
4. A (important note - A means 1 man) woodcutter has a chainsaw which
operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be
harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree
diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be consumed before the
trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented its charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field
rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The
porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many
hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope
on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic
conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that the truck will
strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The
mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning
of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked
during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?